Papayas And Their Many Uses

Teehee! O Readers Of The Gooby Chronicles!

Today we shall be talking about papayas and their many uses.

Papayas are really really cool- they taste like guano, though. Oh poo. Literally. Heh.

But as we know that Meisters are running out of jobs- some even forced to live on the streets, papayas are gaining a comeback! Many meisters, including my friend's mom, who some of you may know as Guana De Mariposa, are selling them on the streets. I fear I may have to quit my successful squirrel pet shop in order to "Get with the times" and get involved with the papaya trade! I can't wait!!

Did you know:

-Papayas can be used for toilet paper- first remove the inside and shave the skin into chunks. Then soak in water and Voila! Toilet paper!

- Papayas can also be used for firewood- more like "firefruit". If you set them alight, it will create an amazingly powerful bonfire- which creates the effect of a Renaissance hunting party if seen from more than 3 miles away.

- Last but not least, you can use their juice, if mixed with cedar sap, for a very strong gasoline. My neighbors limo got stuck in a palm tree once, and as he was mercilessly attacked by pelicans, he could not move the car nor defend himself! Poor him! And no, it was not Mr. Bagalaboa. Again. If we used Mexican papayas (Or homegrown Venezuelan papayas), we could create a Meister transportation empire. And also cause speed races on the freeway. Yay! Oh wait- that's a threat to public safety. Sorry!!

Pasta

O, the magic of pasta! Yay! It's yummy. Have you ever had pasta? There are sooooooo many kinds of pasta. Linguini, Alfredo, Penne, and even a very special kind my mommy calls S'Mack N'Cheezie! It's VERY cheesy!

And plus it has the lil' dinosaur on the top- for small Meisters like me to rip off with my bare teeth! And then promptly use as toilet papier. By the way, that's the French word for paper. Yay!

Ooh congratulations you just got lucky today! I have a poem!

Hello pasta, pasta, pasta!

I will eat you! Yay!

O from penne, O from linguini, O from that disgusting yellow stuff we call Mac and Cheese!!

You are pasta, and I love you!!

Signed,

I'm going to eats ya!

(Gooby) YAY!!

The Coolest Person (I mean meister) Ever!

Guess who's the awesomest bestest most uber-wonderfulest meister ever??

1.) Me (Well duh!)

2.) My cousin Ana!

Meet Ana:

Ana is pretty and also smart and very nice. Yay! She is a fashion designer who got a job in Islamabad, Pakistan! When she comes home, she brings us presents. Yay!! Again! Once...me gots a teddy bear. I named it Mr. Bagalaboa but my mother said "No!!!" I wonder why? Me is confused.

Anyway... Ana is really cool!! You people should meet her! And also be completely and fully ashamed of your sorry watermelon-eating selves because you simply can't live up to her amazing awesomeness! Heehee!

Here are Ana's amazing fashionable sunglasses!

They are from Dolce & Gabbana!!! Yay!!

A Nice, Friendly Card For Mr. Bagalaboa

Poor, poor, Mr. Bagalaboa.

He was bitten in a rabid squirrel attack. He lived such a wonderful life until my brother's squirrel decided to go after his funny-looking red velvet hat. I think Mr. Bagalaboa's first name was Eugene. Or was it Ernest? Either way, me not know- and plus we must make a nice friendly card for Mr. Bagalaboa! Yay! Heehee!

DEAR MISTER BAGALABOA,
SORRY ABOUT THE LIFE-SCARRING SQUIRREL-BITE WOUNDS ON YOUR FOREHEAD. YAY! HOPE YOU GET WELL SOON! MY LOVELY AUNTIE NONA HAS SENT YOU MANY FLOWERS! INCLUDING SOME WHICH ARE OF A LIGHT GREEN COLOR WE KNOW AS TARNEESHA! YAY!!

SIGNED,
YOUR TINY NEIGHBOR GOOBY! :D

My Amazing Plans for Business

Howdy! Oh wait, that's Texan. I meant to say Aloha!

Well, as some of you maaaaaaayyy know, I am a young and elite Meister businesswoman. I have intense plans for making lots of money- the most recent one of which is running a squirrel pet shop. Apparently Meisters will pay a tortilla-load of money for a squirrel- they are VERY pesky and can be used as a more friendly, yet far more paranoid, alternative to a guard dog. Oh My God I have a story! Yay!

Story:

ONCE MY NEIGHBOR MR. BAGALABOA WAS ATTACKED BY A RABID SQUIRREL. WHY? WELL, HE SPENT NINE WEEKS IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM- BUT THE SQUIRREL UNFAIRLY ATTACKED HIM BECAUSE OF HIS LARGE, OLD-FASHIONED, HAT. POOR MISTER BAGALABOA.

Everybody sign a card for Mr. Bagalaboa!! That will be my next inspiring post. Yay!!!

Who I am:GOOBY

Hello fellow creatures!!

I am the wonderful, the astounding, the meisterly, dun-dun-dun-DUH... GOOBY!!

I am a Meister. Any of y'all know what they are? They are small animals who live in trees, they are more of...primates (although some very misguided people believe they are rodents- such as my mother).

My full name is Gooby Paolo Barrisinquietarezze Del Ochobalanto Mirandez. Long name, huh? Well, I just go by Gooby. Heh.
I live in the small Meister village of Rioja, in the country of Venezuela. I live in a small house with my mother, cousins, aunt, and sometimes uncle. My father lives in a boathouse on Lake Papacapa. YAY!

Hope you enjoy the magical, meisterly, aspects of my overly enthusiastic blog! Teehee!

Sincerely,

Gooby (also known as El Goobo) YAY!